The Product

11/16/22

I said last week that the last step in my project was to write my targets of forgiveness a letter (the product of my project) that would stand as a memorial for God and I to remember.  Even so, I know that I will have to accept some painful memories as “thorns” that will not be removed this side of heaven.

“The point here is that some thorns, regardless of how they got there, will not be removed by God or anyone else. They are a God-given ‘hair shirt’ that serves as a reminder that God both cares and disciplines. We can complain about the thorns in our sides, or we can accept them. We can be miserable, or we can find purpose, meaning, and even joy in the midst of our suffering and pain. The thorns are there for a reason, with a purpose that may be readily obvious or a purpose that will remain a mystery. They may actually be survival cues that serve as a warning to a long-past threat. For some people, the only thing worse than remembering a wrongdoing is repeating it. The thorn, in this case, serves as a reminder, and should be welcomed instead of resisted. Be kind to yourself. Learn the lessons, gain the wisdom, bear lightly the memories, and move on, even if it’s with a limp.” The Forgiveness Project, (p. 181).

So, the Lord gave me a date to write the letter and I did as I was told.  Here is the letter.

Dear pastors and church leaders: To you who have doubted me and the message from God that I was told to bring forth, I write this letter.

I choose to forgive you for the fear that you instilled in me; the anxiety and the hard words that I had to hear from the Lord regarding you.  This caused me to hate you at times and to fear you.  I choose to understand that you were fearful of me, too; that you didn’t understand why I was doing the things I was doing even so, I choose to forgive you and empathize with you.  I also forgive you because you did not believe God’s word that I brought forth and that I was sent as His prophet (and a female one to complicate matters).  I felt your contempt.  You were just as fearful as I was. 

Even so, I bless you and honor you for the position that God has put you in.  I will not speak a reviling word against the Lord’s anointed and I pray that peace be upon you and that you would never hurt anyone as I was hurt.  I pray that you would have respect for the gifts of the Spirit; believe God has prophets today (even in female form) and I thank you because you are my brothers in Christ.  

I feel the same way about the head pastor’s wife as she is my sister in Christ, and I have labored for her for many years unbeknownst to her.  The thorn in my side for her and the head pastor was real.  It’s OK and peace be upon her.  May she learn from all that He has wanted to teach her.

May the Lord bless all of you and keep you; may the Lord make His face to shine upon you and show you mercy and kindness; may your joy be in the Lord and may you fulfill all of your purposes in Jesus.  Learn and bless others; grow in Christ and the fruit of the Spirit.  I pray that we will see the revival together.  If any of you need healing, that your healing will spring forth as the noon day to the praise and glory of God.  In Jesus Holy Name, Amen.

For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.  (Romans 3:23).

I can now receive with grace these words: “Spiritual leaders are treasure chests of Divine grace to the earth. God processes and develops them over many years, through varied experiences, to make them what He intends. We must cherish the Divine grace that our spiritual leaders represent. Please pray for and honor all spiritual leaders. Often your success in life is attributable to the grace delivered to you through the teaching and preaching of God’s word by these servants of God. If they are taken out of the earth, the earth is in trouble. “You will never experience the depth of a gifted person that you don’t honor. People are gifts. When you dishonor them or don’t recognize their value because of familiarity. You cut off the very thing that was designed to bless you. When they are gone ... they are gone. Then you will understand.”  Healing Part 3 - Compassion of God, randolphbarnwell.com.