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Smells of Roses

“The real problem is not why some pious, humble, believing people suffer, but why some do not.”  C. S. Lewis.

Answering God’s call into ministry is thrilling, if not scary. When I first was told by the Lord what my gift was, I was happy. After a couple of years, the Lord started preparing me for a future calling that would challenge me like nothing else in my life.

There are times when I feel like God is not loving due to this work I have been assigned; yet my guiding light is and always has been His Word. There I find those I commensurate with knowing that the Lord has told us we will suffer in one form or another for His name. This recent dream, whether from God or not, speaks of my continuous uneasiness with my affliction, yet it is to be ‘viewed’ by the world.  

I am with my little sister when a crowd formed. It parted as I walked to the front. We were looking at a large screen, and it was to be filled in with the color white. However, it miraculously filled in with red because of my presence.

The crowd gasped in surprise as I did. They turned to me and as they did, my shirt which was semi opened to expose the middle of my chest, a cross formed in my flesh/chest. The cross filled in with red on my chest. And the people gasped again. 

The last scene had Wendy and I sitting alone after the crowd left, discussing the miracle and she said to me: “I smell roses on you.” I told her that the scent is a sign of the Holy Spirit.

I have desperately wanted to accept my hard ministry with joy and wisdom, it used to be that way in my formative years. But I seem to have grown in the ministry of suffering minus the joy. This dream is telling. The message of this dream came six months later when the Lord made it clear, He wanted me to post writings on affliction.

Make me to hear joy and gladness that the bones which You have broken may rejoice.  Psalm 51:8.

The computer screen in the dream represents my website (open to the world) and the cross etched in the middle of my chest represents my heart; the heart of the matter on affliction and how it relates to the cross. The color red represents the passion of Christ, and lastly, the gasping from the people symbolizes the surprise at the message that is shared on afflictions and suffering for our Savior.

Perhaps those who intersect my path to heaven will come to have a different and changed perspective on the subject.

The last scene of the dream with my sister and her proclaiming that I smelled of roses is sweet; a sweet-smelling aroma, an acceptable sacrifice, well pleasing to God. Philippians 4:18. It embodies the fragrance of Christ that we all can have even through our suffering for Him and for His glory.

Our pain reminds us that this world is not our home. I was telling the Lord the other night I feel like I have become an expert in suffering and waiting.  To sum it all up, if He suffered, we will suffer. 

And if children, then heirs—heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him, that we may also be glorified together. Romans 8:17.

“Jesus has many who love the kingdom of God, but few who bear a cross. He has many who desire His comfort, but few who desire His suffering. All want to rejoice with Him, but few are willing to suffer for Him. There are many who admire His miracles, but there are few who follow in the humiliation of the cross.” — Thomas A Kempis.

For He Himself is our peace, who has made the two groups one and has destroyed the barrier, the dividing wall of hostility, 15 by setting aside in His flesh the law with its commands and regulations. His purpose was to create in Himself one new humanity out of the two, thus making peace, 16 and in one body to reconcile both of them to God through the cross, by which He put to death their hostility. 17 He came and preached peace to you who were far away and peace to those who were near. 18 For through Him we both have access to the Father by one Spirit. Ephesians 2:15-18.

3/14/25 The Fire of Firings 

When the Department of Government Efficiency started laying off workers, I was concerned. However, for those of us who have worked in the private sector, this is nothing new. In fact, I have been fired once and also taken a parachute package, a buyout. For us who work in corporate America, this is normal.

Nonetheless those that chose the government sector as an employer, do so for a very basic reason, I believe. Security. Think about it. Very rarely one gets fired from a government job; you get a pension for being a good worker bee if you’re fulfill your time. 

Imagine what it would feel like if it was taken from you, which is what is going on currently in the mass firings and layoffs of our federal government. It is unbelievably scary for people that don’t know the Lord or follow Him closely.

The Lord recently gave me a dream to explain what He is doing with these firings. To some, government has become their God. Here we go…

I am with my Daddy outside of a large government building. The parking lot, walkways and the front foundation had been turned up, excavated. The front entry area waiting for a new update and paving.

The government building, now more of a museum where we were to take a tour. Daddy used to work in this building, but not anymore. As we entered, no one recognized Him. 

We went from room to room, and as we did, He held His arm out for me to interlock my arm in His. This happened every time we walked to a new room. He was showing me each room, arm in arm and each had a bathroom in it. I commented on the bathrooms, “You like to keep a bathroom nearby!” I awoke to scripture.

I form the light and create darkness, I make peace and create calamity; I, the Lord, do all these things. Isaiah 45:7.

And they shall rebuild the old ruins, They shall raise up the former desolations, And they shall repair the ruined cities, the desolations of many generations. Isaiah 61:4.

Those from among you shall build the old waste places; You shall raise up the foundations of many generations; and you shall be called the Repairer of the Breach, the Restorer of Streets to Dwell In. Isaiah 58:12.

As for the meaning of the dream, it is evident the building as a museum, is a place of historical importance. Our government. Daddy is the Lord. He used to ‘work’ there yet is still around after they retired Him!

Jesus is our security and the one that holds us up if we follow Him as illustrated by Him walking me through each room arm in arm. The restroom is a place to ‘rest’, regroup and cleanse.

The excavated front entrance signifies a rebuilding for future use. I believe each room represented each department that is being overhauled. And the restrooms indicate the need for those employees to come clean with the Lord for their futures. Quote from Trump; "We are building a foundation for the future", on Maria Bartiromo show.

With my own personal experience of being fired and downsizing of a large corporation, it brought a time of seeking my Creator. It was a time of fire. It readjusted my life to His will; a time of repentance, prayer and submitting all to God.

He can bring no revival in people souls if there is no fire in their lives… Firings. I was fired and it brought me back to Jesus. The fire of a firing is purging, burning out the old to make room for the new. It is a time of readapting and inventorying of one’s gifts. God given gifts to work for His glory; to exalt the living God. And if we let the Lord do the work, He will guide, protect and show us His best will for our lives.

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11.

Call upon Me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you shall glorify Me. Psalm 50:15.

As I look back, I can see the hand of God that guided me through the process, but also initiated it and brought me into His perfect will for my life. But while in it, I certainly couldn’t see it. Let’s pray for those going through this fire.

There is hope in your future, says the Lord… Jeremiah 31:17a.

3/7/25 Wrapping Things Up ~ The Dream

After ten years of prayer, I was tired and after attempts by various people for release, I still felt bound by the prayer assignment.  For me, when a change in ministry is imminent, the Lord gives dreams. Finally, He sent one preparing me for the end. 

In the dream, I attended a service at the church; I found myself sitting not in a pew but lying down in between the pews resting. I then found myself upstairs in the office of the church.

I went through a closet, packing things up, deciding what of mine to keep at the church and what to take home with me. The items appeared to be wrapping paper, bows, and things to cover packages with. The whole time I was sorting and packing, I was singing the song “Sing Hallelujah to the Lord”. 

After prayer to determine if the dream was from God, I received the following scripture address:  Jeremiah 31:11-12 “For the Lord has redeemed Jacob and ransomed him from the hand of one stronger than he.  Therefore, they shall come and sing in the height of Zion, streaming to the goodness of the Lord—For wheat and new wine and oil, for the young of the flock and the herd; their souls shall be like a well-watered garden, and they shall sorrow no more at all.”

The first scene of the dream where I was resting between the pews indicates a rest for me, hence the winding down of the assignment. The next scene where I am upstairs in the church signifies the spiritual aspect of our work - prayer…upstairs meaning closer to God, or upper room. 

I was cleaning out the closet (my prayer closet) deciding what to take home with me and what to leave at the church (my departure from the church and the prayers that would stay to cover God’s people).  The wrappings indicate the obvious of ‘wrapping things up,’ as in my assignment.  Also, the wrappings were used during my tenure at the church to present my gifts to the people God called me to minister to (i.e., the letters from the Lord, prayer, and spiritual warfare).

While packing I was singing, worshipping the Lord, hopefully being sweet incense and making a joyful noise unto Him.  The singing is also indicative of Jeremiah 31: 11-12, giving me hope that this assignment will result in the revival that God has promised me, in addition setting the prisoners free (that don’t even know they are prisoners).

However, my release from the assignment was not automatic. I had a vision of me being anointed with oil by the head pastor to be free from the prayer obligation.  The Lord asked me to do one final thing. He told me to “Let the hand of the man who set you in service release you.” As I pondered this concept of being released by the head pastor, God spoke again, “Did not the king have to give a decree to release Joseph?”  Genesis 41:14 “Then Pharaoh sent and called Joseph, and they brought him quickly out of the dungeon…”

Another address: Matthew 16:19 “And I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven, and whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.”  In other words, a man set me in service, though it was the will of God, yet God required that man to break the bond willingly. I also believe that the head pastor did not even realize the spiritual bond that had resulted from his initial request asking me to pray for the women’s ministry ten years prior.

As I told Bobby about my release, he was concerned as to how the head pastor would treat me. We consulted a pastor friend on staff, and he was to take the request to the head pastor instead of me. I was to wait for this friend to perform what he had promised; we asked him in June 2014.

My confirmation of release came on September 4, 2014…four years to the exact day of when I took the final word of correction to the head pastor (September 4, 2010).  It was told to me that the head pastor was thankful for the ten years of prayer service, and I was grateful for the gratitude.  I asked God for confirmation of my release, and I heard, “If the Son sets you free, you are free indeed.”  Then the address a week later:  John 8:36 “Therefore if the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed.” 

It was finished!